chasing pavements

I've made up my mind, don't need to think it overIf I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no furtherThis ain't lust, I know this is love

But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough'Cause it was not said to youAnd that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavementsEven if it leads nowhere?Or would it be a waste even if I knew my placeShould I leave it there?Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavementsEven if it leads nowhere?
I build myself up and fly around in circlesWait then as my heart drops and my back begins to tingleFinally could this be it?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavementsEven if it leads nowhere?Or would it be a waste even if I knew my placeShould I leave it there?Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavementsEven if it leads nowhere?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavementsEven if it leads nowhere?Or would it be a waste even if I knew my placeShould I leave it there?Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing pavementsShould I just keep on chasing pavements?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavementsEven if it leads nowhere?Or would it be a waste even if I knew my placeShould I leave it there?Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavementsEven if it leads nowhere?

_shaii_

my beloved little sister is growing up. feels like it was just yesterday when she was just a baby that i use to chase, now she's a little lady.. getting prettier day by day. ♥

TIRED
Hold my handWhile you cut me downIt'd only just begunBut now it's over now

And you’re in the heat of momentsWith your heart playing up coldI'm between the middleWatching hastiness unfold

On my eyesYou were smiling in the spotlightDancing with the nightThe night fell off your mind

I'm tired of tryingYour teasing ain't enoughFed up of biding your timeWhen I don't get nothing back

And for, and for, and forWhen I don't get nothing backBoy, I'm tired

Where'd you goWhen you stay behindI looked up and inside downAnd outside only to find

A double taking, punching hardAnd laughing at my smileI get closerYou obviously prefer her

I'm tired of tryingYour teasing ain't enoughFed up of biding your timeWhen I don't get nothing back

And for, and for, and forWhen I don't get nothing back

Boy, I'm tired of tryingYour teasing ain't enoughFed up of biding your timeWhen I don't get nothing back

And for, and for, and forWhen I don't get nothing backBoy, I'm tired

I should have known

Never mindSaid your open armsI couldn't help believeThe trick me back into them

Even though I'm tired of tryingYour teasing ain't enoughFed up of biding your timeWhen I don't get nothing back

And for, and for, and forWhen I don't get nothing back

Boy, I'm tired of tryingYour teasing ain't enoughFed up of biding your timeWhen I don't get nothing back

And for, and for, and forWhen I don't get nothing backBoy, I'm tired

-Corazon, ang unang aswang-

I just watched this movie. It's a breath of fresh air for the Filipino movie. The video quality, set up, storyline and characters are quite amazing. It has no trying hard special effects whatsoever. The movie was all about the story which I am looking for. 

A lovestory not a horror movie. Though it was really scary for me, I find it more of a lovestory wrapped in a scary tale. Where can I find my very own Daniel? (derek's role) His love for Corazon was eternal... But I do believe it existed to many Filipinos before. it's a part of our culture to be faithful to our better half, through thick and thin..and so it goes. Compliments to Erich Gonzales (Corazon) for a well played act! She's evolved this time, not the usual sweet innocent Erich. Corazon and Daniel, were they really the origin of the aswang? No one knows, but the movie sure did left me lingering on the thought that because of their love, they might have turned into cannibals then handed it down to their heirs, Corazon surely had given birth to new babies which she hadn't eaten anymore. Or had they gathered up other individual to live with them in cannibalism? adopted a child perhaps? 

Where else can you find a husband who will stand by you whatever happens, choose you instead of friends, keep you even if you can't give him a child and kiss you despite your disposition as a monster/dirt/smell/ugliness? A husband as handsome as Derek himself, as strong and responsible as him? The typical Filipino man, tanned from the kiss of the sun (all in a days work), well built from all the load he's carried, strong willed and loving. These were the qualities of our elders.. my lolo was like Daniel. stood by my stubborn lola. (smiles) Although my lola haven't lost her mind.. she was a typical Filipina too. Stubborn and emotionally attached to her children.

Let me also cite Corazon's most striking realization. "Forgive me, as I wanted to give you everything, I lost everything I have. (patawarin moko, sakagustuhan kong ibigay sayo ang lahat, nawala ang lahat ng meron ako.)- you see, I can really relate with these. Sometimes, we love too much, we Filipinas are desperate lovers. we love too much, we hurt too much. That was that. 

my cousin-in-law and her daughter, my neice, Zea.

Happy mother's day to all the mothers out there. Honestly, I don't know how it feels to be a mom although I'm a godmother to many kids already... I think it's quite different when you raise or hold someone that really came from your womb.. You know.. a baby of yours, flesh and blood. Carrying another human being inside your womb for 9 months and risking your life laboring.. It's something unimaginable.. 

So when beauty pageant contestants are asked.. What is the essence of being a woman? the answer is.. Having the chance of being a mother. Having a child inside you, keeping it alive until he/she comes out to the world and risking your life just to let it see that world. Being a mother is being an instrument of God into giving a life to a newborn, something that man can not do. 

It's a privilege that is given only to women. So i wonder how it feels when a mother hugs her kid. because mama hugging me felt so comforting  

 

-mortal MOMbat-

We fight 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I do this she's mad. She says this I'm pissed.She's white, I'm black. She's fixed, I'm a mess. When she's quiet I'm loud, when I'm shutting up she screams. She gave birth to me at the age of 22, the same age as I am now.. and guess what she's in red alert I might give birth the same age as she did. You could just imagine the panic she's experiencing every time I'm outside the house or shall I say when we're apart. Oh, have I mentioned I'm not the only child? Unfortunately I'm the eldest. So her eyes are on me.  Always on me. She cooks my breakfast every morning, she's the best cook ever..but I already told her her that I think I'm surpassing her talents in cooking. She's a great dancer which I can never be. You see.. almost everything about her is the total opposite of me. But what can I do..Can you believe we've been together longer than her husband and she are together? well that's because she's married twice. She and my papa didn't last. So I was there. then she married my stepdad (and they gave me a pretty sister whom i love so much.. ) I was there.. and I'm still here by her side. whew! until when?? (grins) i guess I'm stuck with her until the day God takes her. Can you imagine that length of torture? (laughs) yeah, I can live with that, nags and security protocols.. the maid in her that tracks my garbage and mess.. I'm fine with that. (I think if she reads this I'm dead.) But living without mama? I can't imagine. I know we don't kiss and hug like others mom and daughters do. She trained me in military academy. "Stop crying I haven't hit you yet." That was her famous lines before. and i was like "please mama don't kill me!!" yes..yes.. we all have a little drama at home. I dare not say we've the best relationship in fact I'll let people say whatever they want. I'm just thankful I have a mother. A mother who never left me, fed me, took care of me and struggled for me and my education. She was always there. Focusing on me. Just me. hehe.. Anyway, what she doesn't know about me and my pretty little pranks is my dream for her. She sacrificed things for me, loved me and worked for me so in a "used to" rebellious way i wanna tell her.. now that I'm big, graduated and ready.. 

IT'S PAYBACK TIME! haha

-BBR-

Reese's baby back ribs.... I'm a food lover. I love food, if i don't love the taste I don't swallow.

Visit Reese Resto at Quezon Avenue, Cotabato City. for that delightful meat feast ever. YUM YUM!

-BBWQE-

Also, if you love eggs (I DO!) specifically quail eggs.. they have their Braised Beef with Quail Eggs. Indulge in meat mania!

                  A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

     NOT WHAT YOU WANTED

It's not that we don't want it. we're just afraid. 

It's not that we don't need it, we're just afraid.

When he told me we we're too different from each other, I wondered what those words meant. I could hardly breathe. 3 years... naahh... this is just another Lover's Quarrel. But no, something in his eyes told me he's changed. 

You know your guy. You should always. I believe when you start to own something, your souls are connected. He used to be mine. But something happened along the way. Something, someone snatched him from me when I wasn't looking.- these were then immediate thoughts popped into my mind in just a split of seconds. Afterwards i spoke.. "You're just scared of something you don't know."

even magnets connect. not with the same poles. But the opposite. Again, I believe that logic has the simplest explanation to relationships: OPPOSITE ATTRACTS.

There was too much force binding us together, pulling us to each other.. too much that a collision could never be avoided.         

Life.
It all begins the moment the sperm cell and egg cell meet. (giggles) yes, it's too green to use as a description. At first I thought its the moment you are conceived from your mama's womb. But science specifies it all down to the very littlest particle. Being a sagittarius I'm into logic. so everything about me and how i look at the world is specifically, logically and radically defined.

Life.
You breathe. Inhale oxygen, exhale carbon dioxide and others inhale that too. (smirks)
Nevertheless, it's the circle of life. One specie relies on another. We all share the same air. Unless you're from mars?

Life.
A a kid.. it was something i describe as play. sleep, eat and play. but no.. life wasn't that easy as i pushed it into my little brain. because life? it was suffering. heartache and pain. Separation from someone, something you love. My life began when mama and papa made me. My life actually began when they split up.

The Four Noble truth:

1. "The noble truth that is suffering";
2. "The noble truth that is the arising of suffering";
3. "The noble truth that is the end of suffering";
4. "The noble truth that is the way leading to the end of suffering".  

I have never thought of the idea hating them so much, because to me it was normal. It was natural and the set up was that. I began in that situation. But the world wasn't a kind place to be. It's broken but it would not accept broken families-society. 

thus I began..